I LEFT CUBA…

5 12 2010


1. I left Cuba because in Cuba it is impossible to say I love you.
2. I left Cuba because I couldn’t find a Phillips screwdriver.
3. I left Cuba because Fidel was eternal.
4. I left Cuba because Fidel was going to die.
5. I left Cuba because the mailing envelopes smell better.
6. I left Cuba for strictly economic reasons.
7. I left Cuba without realizing it.
8. I left Cuba because El Duque Hernandez left Cuba.
9. I left Cuba to look through a telescope.
10. I left Cuba so I wouldn’t have to screw Cuban style any more.
11. I left Cuba to go to a sex shop.
12. I left Cuba to play the videos on YouTube.
13. I left Cuba to not know so many people.
14. I left Cuba because my sinus infection was killing me.
15. I left Cuba to buy decent editions.
16. I left Cuba to read Buesa.
17. I left Cuba to subscribe to any newspaper.
18. I left Cuba to travel sitting down.
19. I left Cuba to go to a zoo with animals.
20. I left Cuba because my mother died.
21. I left Cuba so no one would weep for me.
22. I left Cuba to use a cell phone easily.
23. I left Cuba to not eat so much rice.
24. I left Cuba to eat everything all up.
25. I left Cuba to publish a novel that has nothing to do with Cuba.
26. I left Cuba to publish the great Cuban novel.
27. I left Cuba to film the second part of Memories of Underdevelopment.
28. I left Cuba because the music at the Film Festival is very sad.
29. I left Cuba because Eslinda Núñez aged.
30. I left Cuba to dance live with Willy Chirino.
31. I left Cuba to wear a tailored suit.
32. I left Cuba to drive more than 120 mph.
33. I left Cuba so the cops wouldn’t ask for my ID.
34. I left Cuba to connect to wi-fi in a park.
35. I left Cuba to see some Christmases.
36. I left Cuba to see if the snow is real.
37. I left Cuba to see what happened.
38. I left Cuba to buy lottery tickets.
39. I left Cuba to inject myself with a gallon of silicone.
40. I left Cuba to cure a degenerative disease.
41. I left Cuba to go on strike.
42. I left Cuba to play golf or pool.
43. I left Cuba to establish an NGO.
44. I left Cuba to see commercials.
45. I left Cuba so that my children could have another nationality.
46. I left Cuba to cross-dress without attracting attention.
47. I left Cuba to fall in love with another Cuban.
48. I left Cuba to go to a concert by Silvio again.
49. I left Cuba to return.
50. I left Cuba to crap in public on the president’s mother.
51. I left Cuba to vote for whomever I please.
52. I left Cuba to not have to vote.
53. I left Cuba to not hear about Communism for a hundred years.
54. I left Cuba to be active in a Communist party that is respected.
55. I left Cuba for irreconcilable differences.
56. I left Cuba to be against them.
57. I left Cuba to ask myself why I had to leave.
58. I left Cuba so that I wouldn’t have to explain why I wouldn’t leave again.
59. I left Cuba, I don’t know why.

Original in Spanish at Diario de Cuba.

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